Newsletter Drafts

Check your spam folder for an email from the newsletter account!

June 4th 2024:

Good morning everyone! 

The KENNI Krew is pleased to announce the official release of the 1st KENNI Newsletter! Future editions of the newsletter will include such things as interviews with staff and relevant celebrities, updates on the projects KENNI's Team are working so hard on, various fun activities, and maybe even a sneak peek of KENNI's upcoming media plans! (probably not that last one though). Along with all that, each newsletter will end with a few questions that YOU can ask the KENNI Team! Submit a question through the form linked above, and KENNI or his team will answer it!

For today, we're just going to give a few updates however. 

First, remember the short story KENNI published 3 years ago, "Daytona DayApril Vacation"? Of course you do. Well, the Team is working hard to turn it into a full length novel, and then a movie! Not much can be said about the product yet, other then to watch for more announcements for the movie Daytona DayApril Vacation, coming 2024-2025!

Also, coming soon is a new set of KENNI ADs! I know everyone's excited for them, and they're finally here! They'll be rolling out with the release of the novel Daytona DayApril Vacation. We can't wait to share more with you in the near future about them!

In other news, we're changing up the vacation purchasing process, as we've had some unwanted guests who disobeyed the KENNI Island rules. We won't go into to much detail about them here, but all that's important is that we've redesigned the booking form to ensure only serious KENNI fans and nature enjoyers can be let in. Now you are essentially required to write a background check on yourself to ensure you're a good fit for the KENNI Islands. If you're going to complain about this new addition, you're not a true KENNI fan, also cry about it

Recently, 3 young men were arrested on the KENNI Islands for manslaughter of a family of 4 who were vacationing, which usually would get them deported from the island, but it was discovered that when they tried to hide the bodies they accidentally stepped on an endangered species of fern, which is a much more serious crime. 

They have been disposed of. 

Anyways, rumours have been speculated about a possible movie adaptation of The Battle of KENNI'sburg, but nothing has been confirmed or denied by the KENNI lead author and publisher, Ethan Ring.

Now it's time for the KENNI Q&A! Remember to ask your questions in the form above!

Q: Kenny, how are you so sexy??

A: It's KENNI. Yes, my brothers and I just got extremely lucky with the gene pool (especially me). If you want to look as good as I do, consider purrchasing KENNI Kream, KENNI Konditioner, and KENNI-brand soap

Q: How did you manage to hire such a big and bouyant bountiful businessman as Tristan Karmeris??? He's so cool! I love him. I have pictures of him on my wall. I only drink Dehydrated Died Water (that expired 8 years ago because they stopped selling it)

A: Who's Tristan Karmeris? 

A: If you mean Tristen, he decided to join the team himself after working with Ethan Ring on I-pen, which was bought out by K-pen. Most of the core members of the team were recruited after being friends with Ethan Ring. Check the Team page to learn more about him. 

Thanks to everyone for signing up for our newsletter, we've worked hard on this! Without your support, KENNI could never have gotten this far! (that's a complete lie btw)